


I Miss You

by SirFangirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, F/M, allura knows a fake shiro when she sees one but won't admit it, did I mention there's angst, i am agonizing over these two, let them live omg, shiro misses his friends and doesn't deserve to suffer like this, spoilers for season five, the white lion knows what's up, writing's probably messy because I'm tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 21:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13866435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirFangirl/pseuds/SirFangirl
Summary: The princess who lost everything managed to lose something once more.





	I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> (spoilers for season five, but meanwhile i'm still on the shallura ship and you will have to fight me if you want me off of it)

When Allura saw the empty pilot's seat in the Black Lion, it felt like every aspect of her relationship with Shiro left with him. The jokes they shared in those fleeting moments of calm, the reassuring words they spoke to each other, the gentle way he held her hand once- all of them were gone with Allura's friend. 

It only makes sense that she cried when she got back to her room. The princess who lost everything managed to lose something once more.

* * *

Shiro came back.

Allura can't remember the last time she felt this happy. She has so much to tell him, so much lost time to make up for.

However, it's been difficult to do those things.

Allura hasn't found the opportunity to talk with Shiro about anything other than strategy. She assumes it has something to do with everything involving Lotor and the coalition. Maybe he doesn't want to talk too much, still overwhelmed by what happened when he was gone, whatever that was. 

_At least Shiro's back,_ Allura thinks to herself. 

* * *

They argued today. 

Allura feels herself forgetting more of the details about her and Shiro's argument. She can remember that the argument was about Lotor and that Shiro yelled at Lance. Something that she can't forget, though, is something that Shiro said.

"I'm the leader of Voltron. I'm making this decision."   

Allura's amazed that she managed to control her anger when he said that. It sounded so  _arrogant_. Then he claims he put an end to Zarkon's reign. That's not the selfless, considerate Shiro that Allura met. He has become more difficult, as Allura told Lance. 

_At least he's still here_ , Allura reminds herself. The thought conflicts with the one that appears in Allura's head everytime she talks to Shiro.  _He may be back, but my friend isn't._

* * *

Allura hasn't spoken to Shiro much after their argument. Recently, she's found herself delving into Altean history with Lotor. Allura never thought she would be studying what she thought were fables with the prince of the Galra Empire, but she should expect the unexpected by now. 

Part of the unexpected is finding Oriande. Allura's never seen a place so breathtaking, and the trial set forth by the White Lion is just as breathtaking but in a different way. However, the euphoria of being at Oriande depletes when Allura returns to the castle. 

When Allura restores power to the castle, she can't help but notice how stoic Shiro looks. Of course, he normally has a serious demeanor, but he was just saved from being suffocated. Shouldn't he seem a little relieved? Allura can't forget about Shiro's intense stare and can't shake the suspicion that it brings. Ever since Oriande, Allura has felt different. She feels as if she is constantly on the cusp of learning something that could change everything. Allura wonders if she could learn about what's wrong with Shiro. 

* * *

_"I think something's wrong with Shiro."_

That was what Lance told Allura sometime after they left the Patrulian Zone. Lance brought up the conversation he had with Shiro while Allura was away. Needless to say, it worried Allura. 

As she sits in the warm water of the large bathtub in her bathroom, Allura tries to restrain the panic that's been thrashing in her since that conversation with Lance. Sometime after Shiro came back, Allura had this reoccurring thought that especially occurred whenever Shiro was being difficult. The thought was that the Shiro who came back is not the Shiro who left. Allura thought it was ridiculous and would try to brush it off, but now, she's not sure if she can just brush it off anymore. She was told that the secret to Altean alchemy was inside of her; Allura wonders if the secret to Shiro is in her, too. 

_You know the truth._

A shudder runs through Allura. That voice in her head was not hers; it sounded like the voice she heard on Oriande. Whoever this voice belongs to knows the truth about Shiro and knows that Allura knows it, too, despite how hard she's tried to ignore it. Allura hunches over in the water. She's so afraid, because a stranger posing as her friend is roaming the castle and is doing so for some unknown reason. She gets out of the water after a while and quickly changes into her nightclothes. She doesn't want to do anything about the stranger in her castle until she's consulted with the other Paladins. Allura walks into her room and settles into her bed and tries to fall asleep. 

* * *

 

How long has he been here? 

Shiro wanders down the infinite space before him. He's been stuck here ever since his fight with Zarkon. Up until now, Shiro thought that if he kept moving he would find answers, but now he's not so sure anymore. 

He misses home, wherever that is. He misses the others. He misses Lance's silliness, Keith's sarcasm, Pidge's science talk, Hunk's cooking, Coran's lectures about space creatures or Altean history or anything else of interest. He misses Allura's kindness and gentleness and assurance. Shiro misses those moments of calm, when there wasn't any time to focus on the things that hurt him or the things he hurt.

Shiro misses feeling safe. That realization is probably what causes Shiro to stop moving and to collapse onto the floor of this space. He tries not to cry because of the habit of maintaining his composure. Of course, there's no one who will see him lose his composure, and the fact that no one is here is what makes Shiro lose it. His sobs are ragged, and they cover the cries for help to someone, anyone who can hear him. Shiro covers his eyes with his flesh hand so he won't have to see this purgatory he's been placed in. 

Of course, he doesn't see the hand that reaches out and gently cups itself around the side of his face. 

"Shiro?" a voice questions. 

Shiro uncovers his eyes and can't believe what he sees. Allura is right there, staring at him with bright, hopeful eyes. "Allura," he says weakly. His broken voice betrays how quick Shiro is to wrap his arms around Allura. He's shaking, but he doesn't care. All that matters is that Allura is here. 

"Shiro, where are you?" Allura asks. Shiro worries that she can't see his surroundings. 

"I don't know. Can you see what I'm seeing?" 

"I just see you and my room." 

Shiro realizes what's going on, and he hates it. "I don't know where I am," he admits. 

"I know, but I'm going to get you out of this," Allura assures. The determination in her voice along with her assurance brings something to Shiro that he hasn't had in a long time. It brings  _hope_. 

"Please, take me back," Shiro begs, even though he doesn't need to. 

"I'll try, but I-" Allura's voice warbles- distorts, even. Her figure distorts, too, like a hologram being walked through. "Shiro!" Allura calls out. Shiro desperately tries to hold her tighter. "Shiro, I think I'm losing you."

"No, no," Shiro whispers hoarsely. "Allura, please, don't leave me." 

"I don't know if I have the choice," she states as she distorts again. "Shiro."

"I'm here, Allura."

"Don't give up on me, alright. I'm going to get you out of here."

"I won't, Allura," Shiro says as Allura becomes more and more distorted. "I miss you."

Despite the distortion, Shiro can see the tears in Allura's bright eyes. "I miss you, too."

And then, she's gone. Shiro's hands fall on top of where Allura once was. Shiro holds his head in his hands and lets out a bloodcurdling scream into the empty space around him. 

* * *

Allura curls her fists around the part of her blanket that Shiro was just on top of. She was so close to saving him, even though she didn't know how. In that moment, she felt like Shiro really did come back, and so did every aspect of their relationship. Then Shiro was gone again, and Allura once again lost something.

It only makes sense that she cries herself to sleep.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (hope you enjoyed the angst-fest, leave a kudos or comment to express your feels)


End file.
